You quietly browse your way to the page. A guy in a hoodie detaches from the title banner and discretely shows you a list of interesting little programs.

"See anything ya like?"

Welcome. There's plenty to go around, and custom jobs are acceptable. I am doing this free for those people who want to play pranks, liven up their computers, things like that. (Not that I could get away with charging for this stuff.)

These are things I've worked up out of boredom, interest, finding the bits and pieces from all over the place. There is one or two that aren't exactly mine, and I guess if you see something that you know for a fact is yours, you can talk to me if you feel the need and we will fix things.

Few rules.

1: You CAN talk about Teh Bit Market, but unless you want it shut down, know when to keep your mouth shut, m'k? None of this can really hurt anyone, but you never know if someone's gonna report it anyways. Do however spread the news around, I'd like a brisk biz in these.

2: These are made and given, NOT to actively harm anyone's computer or files, only a few of them can do anything overly damaging, and even then nothing too permanent.

3: If you know who I am, congratulations! It can't be too hard to figure out. But do keep that to yourself. Helps the mystery, you know?

4: You take FULL responsibility if you damage something with these, they SHOULDN'T, but you are responsible. 

Have fun!

Order information

To order, just send an email to naesdraw(a)verizon(dot)net, with

1: Your email

2: Your choices ( I'd prefer a only a few per order, thx.)

3: Your reasons for wanting what you are asking for (I wanna know what awesome stuff your gonna do with it!)

4: If you want anything custom, give me an idea of what you want! (Titles, text/background colors, effects.. etc)  

If I like it, I might add it to my catalog, credited, of course. 

I'll get back to you with your order or feedback ASAP. Please give a day or so for your order to turn around.

The files are ranked by strength, Lvl 1 being the most, 3 the least.

Starter- When run, shuts down computer ASAP.

Copypasta. - Starts opening copies of itself; a LOT of them. Each copy opens a copy and loops. Clocked at 200 instances with trying to close them. Insta-lag. In tested cases, required hard restart.

-=[Level 2: Mid]=-

Password Saver 2.0.5 - Sets computer to shutdown in 5+ hours, fake link with the windows key icon.

Swifty's Starter- "Press any key to continue..." Pressing any key shuts down in 30 sec. Hitting the close [x] closes the window safely. (Thought up by my friend Swifty, made by me. Good for nonstandard method of computer protection, keep unauthorized idiots from getting on your comp.)

Phunky bomb - Flashes and spams Color-Is-Everything in messages, could need restart to stop them.

startup - loops "WARNING! FATAL SYS ERROR ON DRIVE C: STACK OVERFLOW" and places a file named "Noob" at location.

The red pill - loops "HI! Im in ur computer, haxing ur drives" and places a file named Noob.did.you.think.I.would.hack.you. at location.

Matrix - prints lines of $%^*(*&^%&%^$%#%^%&*

Matrix2 - Lines of fast numbers, much more matrix-like.

BSoD - Displays a Blue Screen of Death style message, but badly.

Internet Explorer - Informs of hard drive failure and attempts to find "internet"

alarm - Makes a lot of noise.

you spin me - Causes most buttons, ads to spin on screen when the text is pasted into the URL bar. Requires hand input or editing of links.

fake corrupted file.doc - Rename/change it's format to have your own corrupted file. Good if you need more time for an assignment, or anywhere else you need a corrupted file. Opened as a .doc in Word it gives a jumbled mess full of page breaks. Made with Naes's own sekrit blend of files. (Can be ordered for custom size/name, prefer the file size in kB.)